How Couples Can Work to Stop Fighting Over the President

Dr. Worthington,

My spouse and I love each other so much, but lately we have been arguing nonstop about the president and I don’t know how much longer our marriage can withstand it. I actually started looking into divorce lawyers briefly, but broke down crying when I did and stopped. I just don’t know how long I can go on. Do you have any suggestions?

Kelly
Princeton, NJ

Kelly,

how couples can stop fighting over the presidentThis is all too familiar in this day and age and I’ve already received a few letters that address this. Yours was the most calm and readable for sure as many were overly emotional and quite pockmarked in strong language.

I suggest you and your spouse go down on each other before a fight breaks out. Hey, if you’re giving, you ain’t talking. If you’re receiving and you are still talking politics….. There is something wrong with you and maybe a divorce is necessary I’m sorry to say. Now, for this to work, you have to nip it in the bud. Beforehand, you should remove any news articles from the house, limit internet time and ban access to cable news. But if your spouse starts getting into it, get it front of it and interrupt.

“I can’t believe the president just”….(interrupting) “ok get over here you” and then proceed to get down. Oh, make sure there are no kids around.

Now,  if you’re older this may be not be applicable as your genitals are probably not palatable to each other. If that’s the case, then just simply cook up some bacon. If somebody is cooking bacon, there are receptors in the brain that prevents political arguments. Once the smell of bacon seeps into the brain, it says that there is bacon afoot and you get all happy. I have stopped many an intense argument of either politics, religion, or even infidelity by simply frying up a pan.

If bacon doesn’t work, maybe buy a screen door and let a gentle breeze glide through the house. Yeah, ….that may work.

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